When you were dating, your relationship with your in-laws wasn’t such a big issue, but now that you are married ,suddenly the in-laws are a constant source of stress. Relationship pressures increase when additional people plunge into the mix and neither you or your partner get to choose.
The worst thing about the battles involving in-laws is their potential to drive a wedge between you and your partner. No matter how close you are to your partner, parent-child relationships are a powerful and complex thing. And no matter how well you think you know your spouse, their parents have known them longer and will know how to appeal to them during conflict. Should you or your partner refuse to admit that there is a problem, or avoid the issue ,the consequences can be catastrophic.
In the best situation, you may marry into a supportive, loving family that support your goals and dreams. But in many situations ,there may be one or more in-law that is highly opinionated about how you live your life, especially in your relationship with your loved one.
Our parents relationship defines so much of our experience of our relationships. Merging two families and two different cultures often means tangling with different views and expectations about openness, family visits, money, etc.
Dealing with in-laws doesn’t have to be a contentious situation. I can help you learn how to communicate, relate and remain patient even in the midst of loud and problematic extended family members.
How do you want your relationship to be? What do you want to do differently from the blueprint of your past? What behaviours do you want to keep ,and what do you want to leave behind? And how can you accept your partner’s quirks and love them for who they are in their essence?
Will help you to figure out how to create new ways of being in the relationship itself and in your relationship with one another’s family that can help you to get unstuck.
Remember, your in-laws helped raise the person you love and that contribution cannot be discounted. They can’t be all that bad. You and your partner are now a family and must learn to make decisions together on how best to deal with your respective families of origin.
During marriage counselling, communication is the heart of all good relationships. So we will create a safe space for you and your spouse to air all of your fears, anger, frustration, and worries about your relationships with your in-laws.
Next ,we will work on setting clear, loving boundaries with any in-laws who are attempting to interfere with your growing relationship. It may feel intimidating for you or your spouse to stand up to a parent. But the sooner you prioritize your marriage, the easier it will be to confidently set your boundaries.